Bill,

I pray this e-mail finds you healthy and happy.  Thank you once again for you kind words about Darrin.  I can’t believe it has been a year.  We are in thre final week and the girls and I struggle greatly as I know the rest of the family does too.  I seems as if we are reliving each day over in our minds.  I was hoping it would not be this hard, but as each day passes, the reality of a lifetime without him rests ever so heavy on us.  I have to remind myself all that God has done and is doing.  I miss his laughter and smile and holding his hand most of all.  Seems strange I’m sure but when he was so sick, it seemed that was all I could do.  he hurt anywhere we touched him so we held hands.  As time passes I try not to dwell on the why’s trusting that God will take those things meant for evil and turn them to good.  God remains ever so faithful as His word promises but we weep daily for our loss.

The one thing I have realized is that no matter how much you want to hide away, life moves forward and with it new beginnings and hope that all will be ok.  God’s blessings never cease.  Katee had a clear scan in Feb, she is back to her old self, her hair has thickened and the dark rings under her eyes are gone.  We cried when they told us she remains cancer free.  We pray we never have to deal with cancer again.  She however has shared that she feels cancer was a gift.  How you wonder as I did.  Katee feels that it was a gift because, she views the world so differently than most 22 year olds, she knows what’s important and tries not to get caught up in the things that aren’t.  She also believes as many of us that the most important lessons are learned through the hardest battles, with this I must agree.  We have learned so much our priorities have changed and we charish each other more.  I think the biggest lesson we learned is about God’s never failing love, He provides, comforts, heals,blesses and is faithful even when we are not faithful.  We fail daily and yet His love endures forever.  Someone asked me why do we pray when at times God does not seem to answer our prayers, I feel the answer is this, at least it is for me…. we pray because we need contact with God, we ask because He requires that from us, we must trust that at times His ways are not our ways, but that He has a plan and knows what we do not, therefore we must TRUST that He is God and has our best in mind.  Most of all we pray, I pray because He is worthy of our prayer.

No matter how hard it all is we know that we are not alone, I cannot have imagined traveling this journey without God, and know that we could not move into the future without Him.

As we move into this week we remember where we were a year ago and how very sick Darrin was.  I do not know how he battled for so long, My heart aches for all the families who have stood with a loved one who has had to fight this terrible battle.

All I can say is thank you all again for believing and standing with us and thank you for your continued prayers.

New news is this…..Ami has survived her first year of college and has done wonderful, Katee remains cancer free and is getting married in June.  There is not another mother alive who is more proud of her children.  No matter what the day brings they do not give up.  We may cry but we are moving forward, looking for the blessings.

God is merciful not to show us the future, I do not believe any of us could have endured if we would have known what was to come.  Nor could I have imagined the love and support our family would be shown by so many, so once again all I can say is thank you, thank you Thank you and I pray God’s blessings would find you and over take you.

Much love to all,

Kim, Katee and Ami